As summer winds down and the school year kicks into gear, many of us find ourselves juggling new schedules, driving our kids around town, and trying to keep up with all the demands that come with this transition. If you’re anything like me, you’ve likely found yourself playing chauffeur to a teenager with plenty of plans but no permission, no money, and no transportation!
For working parents, this time of year often means we’ll miss a few moments with our kids that we wish we could be there for. It’s during these times that practicing our "mental fitness" becomes crucial. One of the key elements of emotional intelligence is understanding that we are not our thoughts—we have the power to choose how we show up in every situation.
One of the most powerful tools for navigating transitions—like the back-to-school season—is building mental fitness. According to Positive Intelligence, mental fitness is the capacity to respond to life’s challenges with a positive rather than a negative mindset. It involves strengthening the part of your brain that serves you and quieting the part that sabotages you. In our daily lives, our minds can be our best friends or our worst enemies. The negative emotions we experience, including stress and anxiety, are often the result of self-sabotage, where our inner "saboteurs" take over. These saboteurs thrive in the back part of the brain, fueling negative thoughts and emotions. For more info on Positive Intelligence
Just this week, I faced a tough situation. I had a keynote in Denver scheduled on the same day as my son Jack’s freshman orientation at Saint Thomas Aquinas—a day I was really looking forward to. When my older son Ben went through this, it was one of my favorite experiences. The seniors rolled out a red carpet, one of the administrators opened the car door, and the seniors—dressed in Hawaiian gear—grabbed the freshmen and ran them into the school. The whole school was cheering them on, and afterward, there was a pep rally to get the freshmen fired up about being part of the Saint Thomas Aquinas community.
My heart broke when I realized the conflict in my schedule. I was so bummed. But then I tapped into my own mental fitness. I realized I was sabotaging myself with negative thoughts that filled me with guilt and anxiety. So, I practiced what I preach and made the shift to the front part of my brain. I reminded myself how proud my boys are of me, how much I love my work, and how this was going to be such a fun experience for Scott (my husband) to have with his son. It was WILD. As soon as I changed my thoughts and made the shift, the anxiety turned into excitement—for both Jack and Scott—and for me, eagerly awaiting the video!
Now, let’s talk about how you can make this shift, too. Here are some tips to help you flip to the front part of your brain and stay mentally fit during these transitions:
1. Recognize the Saboteurs: Identify when negative thoughts are creeping in. Acknowledge them, but don’t let them take control.
2. Practice Self-Compassion: Remind yourself that you’re doing your best. Missing an event doesn’t define your value as a parent or professional.
3. Shift Your Perspective: Focus on the positives. What are you gaining in this situation? How can you create a win-win for yourself and those you care about?
4. Use Visualization: Picture the outcome you want, not the one you fear. Visualize success, connection, and fulfillment.
5. Stay Present: Don’t let your mind wander to the ‘what ifs.’ Stay grounded in the present moment, where you have the power to make conscious choices.
By practicing these steps, you can train your brain to stay in the front part, where positivity and mental fitness reside. And remember, emotional intelligence is all about how we choose to respond—no matter the situation.
Here’s to a mentally fit and emotionally intelligent start to the school year!
Keep shining – be who you came to be!
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