Nostalgia is a seductive liar.
Nostalgia has a way of making the past look shinier than it was. It whispers that if we just go back—to an old job, a past relationship, a previous version of ourselves—everything will feel the way it once did. But here’s the truth: who we were isn’t who we came to be.
I learned this the hard way. After becoming a mom, I realized my corporate career no longer fit. The travel, the time away—I still loved working, but I needed something different. At first, I thought something was wrong with me. Why couldn’t I do this anymore? Instead of recognizing I had evolved, I convinced myself I just needed to push through. So, a few years later, I went back to a similar job, thinking it would make me feel like me again.
It didn’t.
Three months in, I quit. That decision—made from nostalgia—taught me a powerful lesson: we can honor the past, but we can’t build our future by living in it.
How Emotional Intelligence Helps Us Move Forward
Emotional intelligence (EQ) gives us the tools to celebrate nostalgic moments without making decisions based on them. Here’s how:
✅ Self-Awareness – Recognizing that growth changes us and that’s a good thing. Nostalgia can cloud our judgment, making us believe we need to “get back” to something instead of moving forward.
✅ Impulse Control – Nostalgia can trigger impulsive decisions. Before making a big move, pause and ask: Am I doing this because it aligns with who I am today? Or am I chasing a feeling from the past?
✅ Reality Testing – Emotional intelligence helps us balance emotion with logic. Instead of romanticizing the past, we can ask: Is this truly right for me now?
✅ Adaptability – The greatest gift we can give ourselves is permission to evolve. “Be who you came to be” is that permission slip. We never reach a pinnacle where we can coast—growth is constant.
Nostalgia is beautiful. It reminds us of where we’ve been. But we didn’t come to stay there. We came to become.
So, before making a decision, ask yourself: Am I choosing based on who I am today or chasing the comfort of who I used to be?
You didn’t come to be who you were. You came to be who you are.